What We Are, What We Will Be
by VacateSanity
Summary: sequel to my story When Logic Fails, progresses after there from the Academy and will enter into the five year mission...


TITLE: WHAT WE ARE, WHAT WE WILL BE

Summary: Sequel to When Logic Fails, continues from Academy and will progress to five year mission…

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

TEDDY BEAR

**_One Year Later…Two Weeks Before Vulcan Distress Call…_**

He made a small, husky, deep grumbling noise that vibrated against her back. His arms tightened as she attempted to move out of bed. She chuckled and attempted to escape once more. He grunted and nipped her neck gently with what resembled a purr and held his arms steady around her.

Her Spock had become quite expressive for a Vulcan since they began their relationship. She was unsure if it was her own influence or if these small specks of emotion were always present and he was only beginning to feel secure enough to express them around her.

Whatever the case, the small moments of illogical actions were amusing and she was quite possessive of them; proud that he allowed himself to be so vulnerable only around her. She liked owning his smiles and his purrs and his moments of unexplainable actions that could only be considered illogical.

"Baby I have to go. I have to finish a project and then the Kobayashi Maru, which you have to go to as well." She whispered reaching behind to stroke his cheek.

Spock nuzzled her neck and breathed in her scent.

"You have three hours and thirty minutes before the Kobayashi Maru. Your presence will not be required until thirty minutes after the program begins. You will have ample time to prepare your project and return to the station in time if you practice efficiency, which you have always done. I am therefore left to logically conclude that you wish to arrive earlier than necessary which is illogical. Instead I suggest staying in bed with me. I have become accustomed to you. Remain where you are." He said stoically with any breaks or pauses to insinuate emotion.

Uhura already had become accustomed to her Spock and chuckled in amusement.

"Spock…" She warned like a mother hen.

He grunted and moved to get up. His hold around her did not yield however. Instead he lifted them both out of the bed and onto the floor, the covers fell to the ground as he lifted her effortlessly and walked to the bathroom. His head was still buried in her hair and neck and he was taking special precaution to avoid jostling her. The result was a waddling movement, like a stubborn child refusing to wake up as it carried its doll out of bed.

"I hope you can see, Spock!" She hissed.

"I hope I can see as well." His voice was monotone and serious, but the illogical statement coupled with his use of the words _I hope _were clear indications of humor.

"Was that another attempt at a joke? How long are you going to hold onto me like this? Spock I'm not your teddy bear."

He nuzzled her neck refusing to release her.

One arm was still around her waist as he turned on the shower. Uhura giggled and bit playfully at his arm, wiggling and pretending to try and escape.

"A teddy bear is a child's plaything in the form of an innocuous nonthreatening bear usually made of soft materials. I have seen this human toy in several Terran documentaries." Spock said and still holding her grabbed a bar of soap.

"Spock are you seriously not going to let me go or-"

"However it can also be interpreted as a means of comfort. A dependency of sometimes illogical attachment. The term teddy bear seems appropriate."

Nyota chuckled and turned to bite lightly at his chin.

"Did you just imply that I'm your teddy bear, Spock? Aww, you're so corny."

He paused, the bar of soap raised in one hand and she knew one eyebrow was raised at her in confusion.

"I am assuming based on our experience together that that is another human term I am unfamiliar with and does not actually relate to its correct definition."

"'M sorry, k'diwa, I always forget. It means…it's….how _would _I explain it? The only word I can think of at the moment is cheesy."

"Your explanation is not alleviating my incomprehension. I do not understand Terran idioms, they have no apparent reasoning. Dr. Chancey confuses me on a regular basis as well. You refer to me as an infant and she refers to me as a species of Anatidae."

"Anatidae…what like a goose or a….a duck? Ducky? Oh, that's a British term."

"Highly illogical."

"Perhaps, but we can't help it, you're so cute when you're confused."

"I assure you I do not show any emotional expresses of confusion that change my countenance."

OoOo

"Is he not taking this simulation seriously?"

Spock stood with his hands behind his back, listening to the conversation at hand as once again James Tiberius Kirk attempted to overcome the inevitable ending of the Kobayashi Maru. It would not benefit the Cadet to repeatedly undertake this exercise. Perhaps this was not a matter of logic? Perhaps the illogical mechanism of human psychology was spurring Kirk's strange behavior.

Spock recalled the Cadet's file. His father died bravely saving an entire ship from destruction. Perhaps it would be best to have the cadet psychologically screened once more? This time with specific instructions to determine if his father's heroic death was causing the Cadet to have manic or narcissistic psychological impairments.

Spock turned from the arrogant Cadet to his Nyota. Her long neck was exposed to him, her long brown fingers danced across the console. Vulcans were touch telepaths and those who were not trained in the art of telepathy and mind touching were capable, even at a basic level, of entering the mind through the fingertips. It was an intimate thing, sometimes considered an almost sexual experience.

He watched her pretty fingers dance across the console and he breathed in trying to concentrate on the matter at hand.

He was absolutely transfixed. They both agreed that discretion was sublime for their careers and to prevent their work from mixing with their private lives. However, he could not prevent himself from remembering the taste of her in his mouth, the way she moaned underneath him last night and it bit him hard in the shower this morning.

He deemed that his strange understanding of sex was a Vulcan instinct. The first time they were together he had felt an urge to perform oral sex. Spock was well aware of sex and how cultures chose to procreate. However oral sex and other forms of pleasurable sexual interactions had always seemed illogical. Nevertheless, when his body touched hers he held a deep and strange need to completely consume her. To prove in a dark and sinister way that she belonged to him. _His. _Oral sex was the logical savagery of his Vulcan mind. It was his logical half's way of marking his mate, pleasuring her to _want _him as well.

He had never been so aroused by a woman before. Just her scent destroyed his control. The first time they were together he had lost what control he possessed for the first time since childhood. His instincts guided him that night. His instincts guided him every time he touched her.

And his Vulcan counterpart knew in a mixture of logic and pure savagery that she would have to be his. He did not like it when other males looked at her or touched her or crossed paths with her. Not when she was not bounded to him completely. But human mating was different from Vulcan bonding and he knew it would please Uhura greatly if he were to abide by human mating rituals.

So he would and he would approach the situation carefully. Hopefully she would find his approach agreeable enough to say yes.

Suddenly Kirk stood from the chair and bit into his apple, carefree as ever and broadly smiling. The observance room became still and someone turned to Spock inquisitively.

"How did he beat your program, Spock?"

Spock looked at the grinning Cadet with some degree of irritation. He wished to have time alone with Uhura tonight but this Cadet's arrogance would only create more work and less time for him to see her.

Kirk….the same Kirk who kept initiating unreciprocated mating rituals with _his _mate. Who currently prevented Spock from seeing his mate. Who also unethically changed the meaning of Spock's program to fuel his arrogance.

He did not like this Cadet Kirk.

"I do not know."

The simulation room was emptied one by one. When Uhura passed Spock's face was impassive but he shifted his position. Uhura glanced at him almost as stoically as he glanced at her.

"Captain Pike…Commander Spock." Uhura said dutifully.

She purposefully allowed his name to roll over her tongue. Her eyes, for a brief moment, flickered intensely. Spock pulled back the demon of his Vulcan urges and responded after Pike.

"Cadet Uhura."

She turned and walked out.

Captain Pike handed Spock two PADDs-one for the academic committee and the other to log Spock's investigation. Spock turned to the duty at hand.

The simulation itself was composed of several million lines of code. The simulation itself did not defer from its regular course until a certain point, which insinuated _where _approximately the change occurred. Kirk was clever, but not a computer genius, so the likelihood that he was capable of hiding evidence of his presence was unlikely.

After an hour Spock deduced that there were only two objects within either the Klingon vessel class or the photon class that could possibly lead to Kirk's win-win simulation. Either the Klingon vessels were programmed to be weaker or the photons were programmed to be more powerful.

It was well past ten pm. The simulation began at eight pm.

Spock narrowed the lines of code that were altered. Simple reconstructions of his programmed classes. Very subtle and very clever, hardly intricate but intricacy was not necessary. Spock copied the altered code into both PADDs and began his assessment. Somewhat irritated he also slipped another PADD from the drawers to write up an official statement of misconduct.

OoOo

At twelve he arrived at his apartment and smelled her instantly. She was already a natural scent in his home but her presence was greater now. He walked softly to the bedroom and found her exhausted and already asleep. Her boots and stockings were removed and her hair was down, but her clothes were still on.

Gingerly Spock removed her skirt and sweater. She barely moved. She must have been exhausted. He kissed her cheek lightly and removed his own clothes, folded them besides hers and slept. He could not resist slipping his arms around her midsection.

"_Teddy bear…" _She murmured in the dark and Spock's lips twitched upwards.

OoOo

He had been friends with Captain Pike since entering the Academy. The older man had mentored him, found a strange sympathy for him when others were impatient or annoyed by his aloofness and strict mannerisms.

Pike however was not easily perturbed by the Vulcan's lack of a smile or constant reminder of responsibilities listed by code in the Starfleet handbook. He welcomed it, encouraged Spock to correct him and keep him in line.

"I'm not perfect; sometimes we need people to remind us not to screw up." He would say.

Spock respected him and considered him to be a rare friend, different from Chansi as he was a superior officer, but same in that he trusted him completely. When Pike called him into his office he had assumed that it was to discuss official Starfleet duties, but instead the question his superior officer posed was almost startling.

"Excuse me sir?" Spock asked simply.

His exterior was composed, flawless and without qualms. But his hands felt heavy, his temperature was threatening to rise by three point one eight percent.

"Uhura, Nyota Uhura. Are you involved with her?" Pike asked gravely, one eyebrow rose.

Spock hesitated and that was the Captain's unanswered answer.

He rolled his eyes and the palms of his hands pressed against his forehead in disbelief.

"My God, Spock, I don't believe it. I thought, at one point, that perhaps you were interested in her. You watch her more than the other students. You seem to enjoy her company more than any woman besides your mother and Chansi…and then there was that strange staring moment during the Kobayashi Maru. But I just assumed it was _me _searching for the impossible! My God, Spock!"

"Our relationship does not go against regulations-"Perhaps not _written _regulations but you wouldn't have been so discrete if it was openly accepted…actually scratch that. You'd probably still be discrete."

Spock pursed his lips.

"I do not understand how you came to this conclusion. Me and Cadet 3rd Class Uhura have always acted appropriately while in uniform." Spock said slowly still avoiding explicitly confirming his relationship.

Pike's lips flickered up and he stopped himself from asking slyly _"how do you act when it's not on?" _but then reconsidered once he remembered Vulcan strength was three times that of a human male.

"Dr. Chansi told me. Quite by accident, somehow she got her hands on very expensive Andorian ale and we may have exploited the drink more than necessary…" Pike said with a small embarrassed grin.

Spock only blinked in response.

"Are you planning on reporting this, sir?"

"Of course not. I'm only upset that you didn't tell me. I know I'm your superior officer but I'm still your friend, Spock. And you and Uhura are the most…serious and strict persons at this Academy. Whatever your relationship is I'm sure it's always appropriate."

Spock nodded.

"Of course."

"Still be careful, however, there are a lot of people who would consider your relationship to be unseemly. Vulcan or no."

"I have considered this and we take the proper precautions to prevent exposure."

Pike's lips quirked and he prevented himself from making another insinuating remark.

"This is…revolutionary! I didn't know you had it in you, Spock. Cadet Uhura is an exceptionally beautiful woman, but I did not think for some reason that you would be tempted in the least! Why exactly did you tell Chansi and not me? I think as your first friend I deserve more juicy details than her!" Pike said indignantly.

"Curious…another food oriented description used improperly…" Spike said quietly.

"What?"

"I never told Chansi about my relationship with, Uhura."

"Then how did she find out?"

"Quite by accident. Uhura visited my apartment and I was practicing chess with Chansi."

Pike's eyes widened.

"Chansi _caught _you two in the act?"

"No she did not….catch us in an act….I'm not entirely sure what that means as we were not accosted. Please refrain from using any more Terran terms that are not defined in an English dictionary."

OoOo

"Spock!" His mother said in surprise and Spock nodded in acknowledgement.

"Hello mother." He responded simply as the image of his mother watched him curiously from the computer console.

"You've called me once again without prior appointment. I can only assume that this has something to do with a certain cadet." She said knowingly and laughed as she watched the tips of his Vulcan ears become tainted by a green flush.

His face however was not affected and in a few moments the blush disappeared.

Amanda laughed nonetheless.

"My relationship with Nyota Uhura is progressing adequately. I have…decided that I wish to create a permanent bond between us." He said and watched as her eyes widened in delighted comprehension.

"Oh! You wish to marry her? You wish to marry her?" She said covering her mouth happily while small tears began to fall.

Spock pursed his lips, confused by her reaction.

"You are crying-"Humans do that sometimes when they're immensely happy, my Spock. Ah, I had hoped that you would find someone. That's all I really ever wanted for you, Spock. Not to be alone. Oh, I must meet this girl." She said rambling on.

"Indeed. I was hoping that you would travel to Earth to assist me. I am not fully acquainted on how I should behave or ask her. I know that human courting rituals can be illogically difficult and filled with unnecessary sentimentalities that I may find to be baffling. I do not, however, wish to disappoint her."

"I'm sure you won't, Spock. But you must first tell her about the time." His mother said quietly and this time Spock was prepared to prevent his ears from blushing green.

"Yes. I…had every intention of doing so in the next few days. If she is not deterred by it I wish to carry out my plans to bond with her."

His mother was practically bouncing in her seat.

"Oh! I'm so happy for you, Spock! My dear son!"

"Thank you mother, although she has not said yes and I do not know how she will react about the time yet."

"Ah, she will not mind. You Vulcans underestimate us human women."

"And…father. I do not believe he will be very happy with my choice."

"I'll deal with Sarek. Do not worry about him. Oh my Spock! You must tell me everything once I get there." She said and Spock almost smiled.

Living on Vulcan, among Vulcans, his mother was usually extremely calm, with a smiling wit that did not exceed certain levels of excitement. It was refreshing to see her so exuberant, her cheeks pink and her dark eyes wide and filled with tears.

He only hoped that Uhura would not reject his offer.

OoOo

A/N: I hope you enjoy this so far! I thought it would be nice to put in some more "why Spock really hates Kirk" plot bunnies in there. I always thought during the movie that perhaps Spock had heard about Kirk's attempts to court Nyota and was pissed off because of it. But anyway please READ AND REVIEW! Also, sorry about the fluff :)


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